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Titel George Carlin quotes
von momo
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, Y'know, I want to set those people over there on fire but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
Viruses, mold, mildew, maggots, fungus, weeds, the e-coli bacteria, the crabs...nothing sacred about those things. So, at best, the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing. We get to choose which forms of life we feel are sacred, and we get to kill the rest. Pretty neat deal, huh? You know how we got it? We made the whole fucking thing up!
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Human beings are kind of interesting from birth until they reach the age of a year and a half. Then they are boring until they reach fifty. By that time they're either completely defeated and fucked up, which makes them interesting again, or they've learned how to beat the game, and that makes them interesting too.
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If crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
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I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
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Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big.
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If you love someone, set them free; if they come home, set them on fire.
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We're all fucked. It helps to remember that.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
 
 
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Letzte Änderung 29.06.2008 15:58:20
Erstellt 29.06.2008 15:58:20



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